“I majored in Finance and moved to Murray Hill after graduation. I tried to keep the college life going, but that’s hard to do when bars charge $7 for Bud Light Platinum at happy hour. I spent so much money that I had to move to Brooklyn. I went to bed one night and woke up with this beard. I’ve tried shaving it, but it grows back whenever I go to sleep. It’s like a hipster version of ‘The Santa Clause.’”
