"I love coffee, but it’s impossible to find a good cup in this city. Starbucks is the worst of all; how do they always manage to spell your name wrong? Near my place there's a café with a barista named Lauren, and she always gets my name right because she's memorized it. Plus how can you call yourself a coffeeshop and not even offer latte art? Lauren draws the most amazing leaves in my foam every single morning--except Tuesdays, when she repairs vintage harps in her apartment. And would it really be so hard for them to hire more employees with tortoise shell glasses, red hair as vibrant as their lipstick, and a stunning shoulder tattoo of Eleanor Roosevelt throwing a tomahawk? I just hate these big corporations."
